I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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