this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
only you would photoshop your dick
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I need water and some morals
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
