When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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