ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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