I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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