I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize