why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
