I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
