they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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