He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
