Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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