her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
