you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
