Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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