i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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