he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
