Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
