We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
