forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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