is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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