whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
