Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Still dying that you shit outside
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
