Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Randomize
