Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
