Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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