Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
