I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
that is very illegal...i love you.
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