And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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