Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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