What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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