I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
