Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
