I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
