I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I showed him my bush... on skype.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
