Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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