Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
its liver damage thursday
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
