her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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