ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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