Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize