I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize