I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
