Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I believe in your delicious
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
