I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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