All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Congratulations! We have a period
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