I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
being pregnant is like rehab
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
