Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
