woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
