I think my vagina is haunted
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
