either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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