Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
what day is it and did you see me today?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
