I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
