why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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