i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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