Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
