i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
