I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
