If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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