Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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