I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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