I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
