you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
