Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
