I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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